22

In just a few days I will be turning 22 this year, it’s the year I hope that never exist. What I have been going through over the year seems to be nothing interesting.

A year of waste, he is just nobody but buffoon. Get him stuck in phony illusion of himself.

He leads himself in complex perplexity and procrastinates in the things that he ought to do. His grueling battle to demolish the despondency and find something to fill the lacuna of his life is just an imagination.

He stands lamely and often collapsed by squall. He recognizes no demarcation. That could be the best part of him but one cant judge for himself right?

Tones of adversities are being loaded in his shoulder and that more often than not has foiled him.

But one bright side of him is,

From a laconic person, now he is more euphoric. The crescendo of untapped power that lies within him is starting to take shape. He has no one so instrumental for his action but himself.

Those are words that describe who I really am after 22 years for being the khalifah.

If ever there was the time machine, I only have one wish although it sounds unrealistic.

I wish it could turn the clock around and take me 22 years backwards for me to accomplish incomplete missions and something important that I owe him, my creator and him, my prophet peace be upon him.

Today is another big day, HARI RAYA AIDIL ADHA.

No big plan for big day that is pretty sad.

But at least I don’t think of silly things to do today other than staying at home and chill out, spend a great quality time with family, after all we are all busy and I kinda can sense something that we are drifting apart.

So I guess this would be a perfect time where we all finally get to clump together as one complete family and catch up with load of things that we don’t usually talk about.

Confession: I and my brother we rarely see each other ever since he got a new job, he is a frequent traveler lately now. But the crisis that we have unlikely to meet the end, we fight too often, and I always against some of his ideas sometime because he takes things too lightly and that what makes me dislike him.

Nonetheless, he is spine and pillar of our family.

Alright that was it a short scribble of mine.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL ADHA

Be Strong

Alright, I am done watching two movies in row. Well I guess now I have something better to do than just sitting around doing nothing.


Indeed, its way to go to rejuvenate you after having a hectic day at work all day.

I have got two news, the first one is negative, and the second one should be positive right? It should works both ways.

Here it is, a person by the name of….erm should I mention that person name who called me this morning? It doesn’t look appropriate here. She phoned me early in the morning yesterday telling me that my application was successful. It may sound cool as it is but there is a tiny little something else that has been bothering me from it.

Lets hold onto that for awhile and go ahead with the next news.

Moving on to the second news, it appears that I am two days away from the dateline. This is actually for my second application. It’s a back-up plan in the event that the first one doesn’t work out right?

Its been driving me up the wall.

Although I did pretty good job on the first application but the call came in at the eleventh hour as I am so far away from preparation.

The registration fee has gone beyond expectations. In fact it has crossed my budget limit. I need RM 2000+ in hand or I will just have to let it go.

It puts me in guilty position because it leaves me with no other option but to choose either money or future.

This looks as though I am juggling my life.

But this wont turn me down anyway, remember I said last time that I would push my steps moving forward in any ways because there is no time to turn around, even to have a glance of the past.

As the saying goes ‘you have to learn to let go of the past so you can have a future’, I can’t tell you specifically who said that wonderful words of wisdom but it just that I really heard of it.

That doesn’t mean you could entirely banish the past, there will be time where you would have to step back and re-visit the past so it could teach you what do’s and don’ts .

Make friend and be gentle with the past because at the end of the day it’s your truly perfect guidance.

Funny, I am officially wandering of the core point. Whatever it is, I am going to do anything that deems fit.

Even if I were to beg for it, I will.

I had enough already with my pathetic life. Feel free to drop me a line or two, maybe you have something at the back of your mind or some crazy ideas on how to cope with it that can be shared here, I really appreciate it.

Adventure but SAD

Maybe its just my fate that anything I do will definitely turn out wrong. Well I know this does not sound so right to start something but in reality I am facing this issue at the moment.

Somebody which meant well spewed that I have been stuck in rut after all these. Yeah.. I cant deny it, I noticed that too. Thanks for the reminder anyway, hehehe…

Let me tell you this, what could be the reason that triggered the person to say such thing, basically I let one tiny crushing experience ruined my life and what add insult to injury was, it lead me to even huge failure, the illusion of failure has been hunting me down for long. When it comes to decision making, frankly say, I am so bad at it.

The minute I had to decide, it gives me a creep.

Sometime I managed to tackle it down. Its worse when I failed.

This is one of the reasons as well why every time I tried something it went wrong.

When it comes to this part, I can’t seem to agree more with the person or whoever told me so.

One thing for sure that might happen is, attempts that I made will go straight down the drain.

It seems so pointless of trying but I have no other option but to do it.

If you know, there is only one thing that I really need in life right at this exact second and kinda will make my life happy too, that is one word with four letters, STUDY!!!!

Worry not, I am working on it. If ever there was one word to describe how I am feeling right now, I will say, EXSTACYiahu..…hahahaha, get it straight ok, I don’t do drug.

The moment is here for me to recapture my life, putting stuffs back in order, get back on feet.

In fact I have been looking forward to going back into university, I ever had that chance but I blew it away just like that. So pathetic, isn’t it?

But this time I really hope that it goes smooth as planned.

I have to get everything settled by this week in order for me to meet the dateline. I only have a week left before the application period comes to an end. It was just last week, precisely on Friday I was there.

I have no idea why is it? Suddenly the marketing unit has been re-located at the other campus without prior notice. Troublesome as it looks, yeah indeed. Now I have to put back my ass down and go online for that matter as I didn’t manage to get the application form. This thing has delayed the process.

If it had not been for that, I would not get my ass up then as I spent too much on it itself. I thought at first I was gonna go down there paid for the doc and yeah..bye..bye…but it’s the other way around. In addition I had to pay RM 150 to claim the document, what can you see in my account now is nothing, so sad.

Oooohh..tapi….excited la nak masuk stdy balik….

Ok guys see ya…!!!!!!!!!

Screen

Yayayay…finally, it’s a brand new LCD 20 inch screen in hand, imagine it took more than 4 hours just to decide which brand and size that I should go for, and this is the one that came to mind.

BENQ, not that bad, isn’t it? Heard about it too, as good as SAMSUNG.

Oooo….by the way, that was it, SAMSUNG had always been the one that I preferred the most, but it just happened that the cost was way too expensive, and absolutely not within my budget though.

But one new lesson that I learnt from that was, learning how to let go. Yeah indeed, its true sometime when you craving for something uncontrollably but it is just impossible to come about, you gotta let go, and by that way in the end you may poses something way better than that.

Trust me man….

With great sadness I am not able to put up the pic of my new LCD here. I got some minor issue with the USB port of my phone because it doesn’t seem to be working so well.

Maybe I will try to learn how to fix it later. I have plenty more things to fancy my PC. Absolutely now, I feel like I am so into gadgets. I have always wanted to know just about anything on computer.

Well, this is weird, you know why? Computer used to be something that I hate the most. I still remember last time when I was in secondary school, I took science and it stream which was more towards it. When it came to IT class, I would find excuses to escape it.

Hahaha….its been so long, the memory is still alive. How cool is that?

Ok then, glad to be back.

Till then, see yaaaa….