...inner chirps of a stranded bird with broken wings...

Surat Kekecewaan

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Dear Me,
I wrote this letter…..
This is so serious, final exam feels as if nothing to me, I have been spending oo..shit hours sitting on this chair and surfing the net, and that has triggered a thought on my mind, why is it so hard for me to find, well at least a few minutes to study.
Those precious seconds gone for nothing, Allah my lord, stand next to me, let me not stranded in the sea of lust. I cant afford to lose anything anymore, painful it gives, yes sure it does but yet that appears as though insufficient to kill what ever evil that stuck in me.
I require nothing but a spirit that could keep me up for good cause. I did try in fact and then again it reverts to the same state.
Sad is apart of this, struggle seems wont encounter any finishing lines, journey is far tougher than climbing Batu Caves, I am afraid if this is gonna be the final destination. I made up my mind one night after a stingy urge came over and my inner voices bellowed repeatedly, “you should finish whatever you start”.  It was my study, life and future.
And that has had me held back, true….and I promptly asked it this all over again “ can you just see what happened last time, or you are just a deaf blind?”.
I am so freaking scared right now, if ever there was a time machine, I beg, please bring me back to the past, yes men imaginations are uncontrollable in any ways. A line in a song goes something like this - Dream is the key to the door of world, and each doors serve you with a challenge, along the way you need bravery, supplement for you own soul, its an element for one to stand straight with head held up, and rise above the crowd.
I get so inspired by the late Yasmin Ahmad, she took the meaning of pride and self-confidence to the upper level in any occasions. She stood still although being pummeled with rain of criticisms. She is so strong, I like her. Someday I might be just like you, read more about her, you will discover more on what she had been fighting for during her life.
This is the best way to lepaskan segala terpendam…..
Sincerely,
Me